Thursday, April 25, 2013
I honestly hate this project. I can't stand it so much because it's a direct reflection of all my flaws; It spits in my face every time I want to actually get something done. I'm unmotivated, forgetful, bad at following through with tasks, even if there are dates, and I hate it. I don't want to be told what an irresponsible student I am, because I know I'm not, I know I could do so much more for this project. I just haven't found the way to channel how difficult it is in a positive manner. It really bums me out to think that i want to give up because I am such a perseverant person; I've never quit anything this important in my life, and I don't want to start now. But it's not all my fault, yeah i might be hard to motivate, but that's because i can't do it myself. My partner doesn't help me get anything done, in fact i have to push him always! and Simona as my mentor could do so much more morally for me. i need her to be more pushing on me; i know she has her own life and she doesn't need this project, and i should be happy for the time she takes out of her days to help me with conformational things, but to be earnest, I'd rather her not be involved at all then give me half of her attention and nun of her interest. I alone can dream all I want of how great the world could be, but it takes many more to make the change. Same goes for my project, I can't do this alone, let alone if I much rather not to do it at all, which is why I need exterior motivation. I feel this is different than other homework's because it doesn't seem as lineant as other school tasks, and by the end your shocked at how much time has passed and you haven't gotten anything done. Yet despite all this negativity, I feel strangely confident that I will be done by the end of the year with the project. Now that I look back, it seems as if I've needed to procrastinate all along because time is my motivation, as strange as that might sound; the pressure of less time gets me moving and actually getting things done for the overall completion of S.O.S
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Understood that this is hard! Understood that you feel alone and that it is hard being the "boss". I look at you and feel like you are learning a very valuable lesson in the art of delegating and motivating. How do you motivate yourself and your partner and your mentor? What are ways that you can utilize your skills to get things done? Yes it is tough. Your project is hard. Your task is daunting. It is something that is valuable. It is important for your community and others so you take on this task. You are a very motivated, selfless person who can do this! What do you need from me? From others in your community? Who can help you and help take some of this burden? Who can you count on to shoulder a bit of the responsibility? Thank you for your honesty. I wonder though if this post should have been in an email instead of on a blog. And if it is important for you that your frustrations are out there, a conversation face to face with the people mentioned here is important. Maybe Simone didn't know you needed more, maybe Zach could have worked harder with a frank conversation. And it is fine to be negative because sometimes you need to be a bit unhappy to figure out how to change what is making you unhappy. Let me know what is the next step in really getting something done at the Tamarindo Skate Park!
ReplyDeleteI can set a meeting with Simona like a week in advance to ensure that she will have the necessary amount of time to give me and meticulously plan every step needed to continue successfully. From you, i don't need much at the moment, but I'll keep your kind offer in mind when the time comes :) From the people in the community all I need is to get them on board with volunteering and getting the word out of what our mission is with S.O.S. I know I can count n Zach with tasks, such as getting materials or helping me with advertisement. I didn't think it would be much of a deal posting all i said on the blog, mostly because I don't think anyone else reads it other then you and zach and he already knows how I feel. But I am sorry if I offended you or anyone else by posting this, I think you're great mentor in CAS class miss Amy!
ReplyDeleteyou're right, Simona knows nothing of this, but it's time to let her know in a proactive way. Thank you for the advice and for getting me to analyze my relationship. the first step to success is to know your flaws.
Koral, your ability to communicate with others is one of your strengths. This is actually a lot like what you do when you work in your mom's store. Just work with people while continuing to talk to them, give something back to them and they will help. I am looking forward to hearing how your meeting with Simona goes.
ReplyDeleteThanks!